


Losing you

by Zatyrical



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Incest, Incest, M/M, Patton appears very little, Unsympathetic!Patton, and the unsympathetic it’s (I believe) very subtle, like minuted after it happened, no happy ending, post creativity separation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-24 08:13:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20355247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zatyrical/pseuds/Zatyrical
Summary: They had always been one, until one day they were two.





	Losing you

**Author's Note:**

> This is a romantic remrom fanfic, if you don’t like this pairing, it triggers you, or it makes you uncomfortable reading this, please avoid it, reading shouldn’t be uncomfortable, be safe!
> 
> I posted this about a week or so ago on tumblr and totally forgot that I wanted to post it here too
> 
> Enjoy!

Patton didn’t let him see himself.

He knew it wasn’t himself specifically, he was himself, but the other…

It had hurt. He remembers that, not physically, not emotionally, it just hurted. He had been teared apart, stolen from himself, violated. Now it didn’t hurt, but he was missing something. He could see himself in the mirror and he looked like, well, him, but at the same time he wasn’t.

His colors were different, big bright red, pure white, and shining golden covered all his clothes. He felt himself go sick. Those weren’t his, he was silver with green shines, he was a red belt and a golden crown. He was not…

He was not a Prince.

He was a King.

Or at least he had been. The pain on his chest traveled up, closing his throat and making his head pound. He fell on the floor of his room.

He had been the King, he had been a neutral spectre of Thomas, he had been whole, he had been everything that Thomas imagined.

He remember seeing his eyes, the other’s eyes, he wanted to hug him, he wanted to not let him go, he wanted himself back. He remembers seeing the surprise and fear on his eyes, he swears he could also feel it, the betrayal towards Patton when he told him to get up and separated him from his other half.

A name. Two names. Red and green. Green and red. Patton.

His eyes filled with tears and the thought of reaching to his tower’s window and scream crossed his head.

He had to. He had to get him back, but he couldn’t move.

“Your name is Roman now” Patton had told him after coming back from leaving the other god knows where.

“No, no” He was shaking, he knew that much, he also knew his name “My name’s Romulus, I’m Creativity”

Patton sighed and sat on the living room floor with him. “You are Roman now, and you are Creativity”

“What did you do to me?”

“What is best for Thomas” Roman felt a shiver down his spine and noticed that he was cold, he missed something, he needed something. Someone.

“Where is him? Where am I?” He needed to know, he needed…

“He is not you!” Patton roared and he knew that that was the first time he had seen Patton that angry “He is not someone you should talk to” his tone softer, but still determined “He represents everything that you don’t, he's… rotten”

“No I’m not!“

"He is not you” Patton looked at the floor, clearly not wanting to scream again and something that looked like hurt showed in his face.

“Where is-”

“Your room is still the same, but now it’s divided. I recommend you to not go to his side”

Patton had left and he had gone back to his room.

His place was… different. Brighter, more colorful, birds were singing, flowers were blooming.

He wanted to hate it. He wanted to think that it was too bright, too colorful, too happy. But he couldn’t, he wasn’t able to.

And now he was here. Sitting on the floor of his room, crying, hugging his legs. He wanted him, he missed him, he needed him.

Roman needed Remus. They were Romulus. They were broken.

A thump sounded were the window was and made Roman jump on his feet.

He paralyzed. Remus was there. He was there. It felt like it made sense for Remus to be the first one to disobey Patton, he was, after all, everything Patton didn’t want Roman to be.

Roman’s eyes traveled through Remus body and felt sick again. They looked the same. Except…

Black, green, and silver. Dark, and yet, him.

Roman locked eyes with Remus and he knew. They shared something, they still did, and they were scared because they knew it was not going to last.

He did not know who moved first, unthought actions, moved by instinct and need. He was not thinking, he couldn’t, he didn’t dare, it would put sense to what was going on and Roman didn’t wanted it, he just wanted to be whole again. He noticed that they were hugging, strong and desperate, Remus corresponding his feelings and burying himself on Roman. Tears were on their faces, neither of them knowing when they had arrived but not caring about it.

“Don’t let go” one of them said, or maybe they both did. It didn’t matter, they weren’t going to anyway.

Neither of them knew when they had moved from standing to lying on the bed, cuddling, and while not enough, definitely better than being alone, they couldn’t stand being alone.

Minutes passed, hours maybe. They stood there, feeling the heat of each other, matching breathing, forehead to forehead. It was not going to be fine, it was not going to be like it used to.

“Why?” This time Roman knew that it had been Remus who talked and he hated it. He wanted to be him again, he wanted to not know “Did I do something wrong?”

And the question was to Romulus, to them.

“No, never” They locked eyes again, and Roman hated himself because a part of him, very deep in his mind, actually blamed Remus, and he knew that the separation was a lot more than just them being two now. It was senses, morals, influences, and if Patton was letting Creativity stay, he was not putting Thomas at risk.

And Remus knew. Remus knew that it had been him, the part of Romulus that was now… the dark side.

Remus started disentangled from the hug, but Roman couldn’t let him. Not again, not this soon.

He grabbed Remus arm and pulled him against him “Not tonight, please not tonight”

And they both knew what it meant. They both knew that the moment Remus walked out of there it was over. They were going to be on two different sides.

Remus sitting on what it used to be their bed, Roman taking him from his arm. They didn’t know who moved first again, and they still didn’t care. Mouth to mouth, touching every possible place, trying to memorize every little detail.

That last night, they tried to be one again.

——-

Roman woke up and felt his cheeks wet. He have had that dream again, that memory again.

The clock on his table marked 5:45 in the morning and he knew that he was not going back to sleep any time soon. It was probably for the better anyways, he would drink some water, make breakfast for everyone, and try to ignore the fact that he hated himself for letting Remus go so easily the morning after the separation.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr at @logic-is-not-missing


End file.
